June 8, 2025 at 11:15 am

She Asked For Understanding During Financial Hardship, So She Was Stunned When Her Friend Expected Her To Fund Extravagant Plans

by Benjamin Cottrell

stressed woman talking on her phone

Pexels/Reddit

Friendships can offer comfort in times of transition, but only when they come with mutual respect.

When one woman’s new friend disregarded her financial struggles and made extravagant plans anyway, she had to draw a hard line. But she worried that line might cost her the whole friendship.

Read on for the full story!

AITA for not meeting up with my friend when she visits, even though her flights are already booked?

I (26F) recently moved to a new country by myself in September.

A couple of days after I arrived, I made my first friend, S (28F).

At first, this friendship was exactly what she needed.

Coincidentally, she had moved here just one day before me, and we clicked instantly.

We spent our days exploring the city, having a blast.

People even thought we were related because we were so inseparable.

We ended up working together at a call center, but both quit after a month because it sucked.

But things changed, as they often do.

Over time, we drifted a bit.

She moved an hour away and got a job closer to her new home.

We still kept in touch and joked about being in a long-distance relationship.

Then came another big transition in her life, and this one hasn’t come easy.

Recently, I moved again, this time to a new city in a new state.

It’s a small touristy town where people usually vacation or backpack through.

Right now, I’m super stressed trying to find long-term housing and a job.

I do have some savings, but I’m very anxious until I get everything sorted.

I’m handing out CVs and going to inspections daily.

Soon, she heard from S who had ambitious plans in mind for them.

Just two days after I moved, S told me she’s moving back to her home country in a couple of months.

I told her I wouldn’t be able to meet before she leaves because of everything going on.

She insisted on visiting me within the next week to do “excursions, dinners, and whatnot.”

She tries to level with S, but S doesn’t listen.

I explained that I didn’t think it was a good idea and I’m on a very strict budget.

I can’t even afford to eat out right now, let alone spend hundreds on excursions.

She either didn’t read what I said or ignored it, because her next message said she booked flights to come visit me for four days and was excited to “grab dinner and go on fun adventures.”

This whole situation puts a sour taste in her mouth.

Now I feel really frustrated. She completely disregarded my boundaries and current situation.

She’s the kind of friend who always needs to be doing something (dinners, shopping, boat tours, bars).

Just chilling on the beach or chatting in a park isn’t her vibe.

She wonders how to best proceed.

I feel like I’m being set up to either spend money I don’t have or be a terrible host.

So… AITA if I don’t meet up with her at all when she visits?

It’s not her job to finance someone else’s farewell adventure, especially when money’s already tight.

What did Reddit make of this predicament?

Protecting personal boundaries is the most important thing here.

Screenshot 2025 05 19 at 2.16.30 PM She Asked For Understanding During Financial Hardship, So She Was Stunned When Her Friend Expected Her To Fund Extravagant Plans

How much does she really owe this friend anyway?

Screenshot 2025 05 19 at 2.17.06 PM She Asked For Understanding During Financial Hardship, So She Was Stunned When Her Friend Expected Her To Fund Extravagant Plans

It’s time to start sticking up for herself and her needs.

Screenshot 2025 05 19 at 2.17.46 PM She Asked For Understanding During Financial Hardship, So She Was Stunned When Her Friend Expected Her To Fund Extravagant Plans

This friend doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt, according to this commenter.

Screenshot 2025 05 19 at 2.18.45 PM She Asked For Understanding During Financial Hardship, So She Was Stunned When Her Friend Expected Her To Fund Extravagant Plans

At the end of the day, she didn’t ask for much — just understanding.

And if her friend can’t offer her that, maybe the distance between them is exactly what’s needed.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.

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