It can be hard for children and parents as the kids become adults. The parents still think of their children as little kids, but the children are actually capable of making their own decisions.

What would you do if you were a college student who tried to be honest with your parents about everything, but when you were, they got mad at you and disapproved of your decisions? Would you keep being honest, start lying, or stop making your own decisions and just do what they want you to do?

Let’s see how the young lady in this story handles a situation like this one.

AITA? My conservative parents think I’m “disrespecting” them by spending the weekend with my boyfriend

Hi everyone, this might be long. I (21F) come from a very Christian, conservative South American family.

My parents believe children must always obey, and that a strong male figure is essential in every home.

I moved to the U.S. for college three years ago on my own and will graduate at the end of this year.

Her family is proud of her but also disapproves of her lifestyle.

I don’t drink, smoke, or party.

My only “fault,” according to them, is not being close enough to God (truth is, I’m not religious, but haven’t told them).

Since being here, I’ve done really well: 3.8 GPA in a STEM field, double minor, honors thesis, internships, campus job, etc.

They’re proud of me academically, but they disapprove of anything outside of school.

Her parents make dating really difficult.

Growing up, they were extremely controlling.

If they found out I had a crush, they’d take my phone for months. They disapprove of anyone who isn’t religious or focused solely on school.

This has made it hard to form friendships or relationships — I’ve always carried guilt even when doing normal things.

A year ago I had a boyfriend they knew about, but my dad was obsessive: calling him at random, demanding he ask permission for dates, etc.

Her dad bought her a car, but there were strings attached.

My dad pays for my tuition, rent, and car insurance, and bought me a car last year — but with strict rules.

I wasn’t allowed to leave my city without permission, and Austin (40 mins away) was off-limits, even though my best friend lives there.

We eventually compromised: I notify him if I go, but don’t ask permission.

I don’t think he ever really accepted that part.

Her parents have mixed feelings about her current boyfriend.

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend, J (21M), for 9 months.

He lives in Austin.

I told my parents about him a few months ago.

My mom seemed hesitant but accepting. My dad? He insists J isn’t my boyfriend, just a “friend I like too much.”

Her parents really don’t like her plans to stay with J.

For my best friend’s graduation in Austin, I decided to go and stay with J for a couple days.

I was honest — and all hell broke loose.

My dad said I was “disrespecting” him, using the car for sin, rushing through life stages, and “tripping over my own hurdles.” He said J just wants to be intimate and to ruin my future, and that the car feels like a knife he put to his own throat.

My mom said I’m ruining my reputation and that society just “normalizes sin.”

I even (with J’s consent) lied and said we weren’t intimate, but still not enough.

It seems that her dad kind of apologized, or maybe it’s a guilt trip.

They keep projecting their own fears onto me.

I told them I’m not doing anything reckless. J supports my goals and respects me. I’m not asking for permission, just trying to be honest.

My dad later sent a long, affectionate text (which he never does) about how proud he is that I stay “on God’s path” — clearly trying to guilt me into backing down.

She’s wondering if she should choose honesty or lying.

I plan to message him saying I love him, but I’m making this decision as an adult.

Still, I feel guilty.

He pays for a lot. Should I just do what they say until I graduate?

Lying is exhausting. I wanted to lead with honesty, and now I feel punished for it.

This does sound like an exhausting situation. Her parents are trying to hold onto her, but she’s all grown up and making her own decisions.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

She should start buying her own things.

This person hopes she can live far away from her parents after she graduates.

I assume they know because she tells them.

This person suggests not doing anything that would cause her parents to cut her off financially.

Enough with the oversharing!

Her parents don’t have to know every single detail of her life.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.