Emotional intelligence is essential when working with others, but it doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

This woman has a reputation for being socially aware, but one of her coworkers is not.

She was asked to help coach him on emotional intelligence, but she refused. Was that the right decision, or was it career suicide?

Check out the full story below for all the details.

AITAH for not helping my (26F) male coworker (40sM) with “emotional labor” after HR asked me to?

I work in a mid-sized tech company.

I’ve worked here for 2 years.

I’m in a non-managerial role, but I have a reputation for being organized and socially aware.

This woman’s coworker, Jake, was not very good with people.

Recently, one of my coworkers, Jake, was flagged in a company-wide review.

He has poor team communication and creates a tense environment.

He’s great technically, but it was noticed that people avoid working with him.

Her manager asked her to mentor Jake.

HR did some soft interventions.

Then, my manager asked if I could help mentor Jake a little.

Specifically, they asked me to “model emotional intelligence” and check in with him like, informally.

She said no.

It’s to help him be more aware of how he comes off.

Basically, they want me to do emotional labor for him because I’m good at it.

I said no, as I don’t think it’s fair.

She has good reasons to think this is unfair.

I’m a woman and emotionally competent, and just because of that, I’m expected to guide a grown man because he can’t read a room.

He makes a lot more than me, and I’m still expected to do my own job.

She suggested getting an actual coach.

I don’t want to deal with his outbursts alone.

I said if he needs coaching, it should come from his manager.

I also suggested an actual coach.

It should not be me doing unpaid invisible work.

Some coworkers think she should’ve helped.

Now, I’m getting a bit of pushback.

One colleague said I could have helped make the team better.

And they said, “This is why women never get promoted. We don’t know how to play the game.”

She doesn’t know if she did the right thing.

HR hasn’t said anything officially, but I’m getting weird vibes.

AITA for refusing to help?

Taking on an extra task without being compensated for it is unfair. She did the right thing.

Let’s see what others have to say about this on Reddit.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

While this person suggests looking for other opportunities.

Here’s an honest opinion from this person.

Short but sweet.

Finally, this person shares the basic rule in the workplace.

Being good at your job is often rewarded with more work.

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